her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
