I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
