im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize