EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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