Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
