drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
