I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
