she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
