He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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