My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize