Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
