I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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