Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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