note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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