the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
