its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
