Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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