apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
