i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
