once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
