I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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