I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
