she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
