im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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