I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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