just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He passed out mid-signature
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
