My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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