it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
