Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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