i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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