Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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