the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I will be naked everywhere
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
