That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
