yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just puked most of my soul out..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
