He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize