ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I had to cum in my sink.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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