The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
