Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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