I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
