i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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