I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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