i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
