I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
