Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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