After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
