Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
