I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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