...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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