I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
