She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
