You really coming over, don't trick.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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