Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
