When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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