I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
