Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
