i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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