These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
