forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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