you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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